sanjouin-dacapo

I've been on the sending and receiving end of "can't you read?" or "I put in the description that I don't own [whatever]!" or anything in the vein of that. I've even noticed too late that a self-checkout didn't take cash and the lady I asked pointed it out rather grumpily. The thing is, I didn't see the message on the screen until it was was pointed out. Then I explained to her about this video where viewers were instructed to count how many times a ball was passed, but afterward they were asked if they saw the man in a gorilla suit and what he did. Many did not. This is called inattentional blindness. You don't see something because you were not looking for it and it was not in the right spot in your field of vision. When we look at art or prose on this site (or on other similar sites) we don't always read the description because it is not in our direct field of vision and our brains tend to screen out a lot of information. If they didn't, we would have trouble focusing and perhaps

Today I got some unsolicited lifestyle advice from my brother in law. Granted he's likely correct. However, we don't know each other very well and it just felt like an invasion. I felt annoyed and angry, and humiliated. It felt as if he had gotten into my room and touched my stuff. Now I understand why people got so mad at me when I butted into their business. I thought they would be grateful for the advice and see me the way I saw myself: as a 'hero' or the like. Instead, they saw me as an arrogant, rude asshole. That's why I got so many flames and why people were writing all those awful blogs about me back in the 00s. I was being a nosy asshole. In fact, I haven't been quite cured of this habit and I'm no expert, but please try to avoid being a nosy asshole. There are times and places for getting involved in other people's business. When to stay out: - They're having a private conversation and a few words catch your attention - They're playing a video game (especially a handheld, but watching over someone's shoulder is rude) - They're reading (again, reading over someone's shoulder is rude. Don't do it. - You disagree with their politics (on Twitter, it's kinda more acceptable, but still, people generally don't like it) - You disagree with the (non-abusive) rules they set for their children. Different parents have different styles of parenting, and as long as they're functional parents, you need to stay out of it. - They're arguing/yelling at each other. Stay out of the fight. If it starts turning into a nasty fight, call the police or emergency services, or alert security. They'll be pissed either way, but you won't get hurt. - They're having a flame war and you don't have a dog in the fight. Just alert the admins and let them be the hate sinks. - Their child is getting into trouble and being a general turd. The parents probably know about it and are embarrassed, but are unwilling to be parents rather than the child's good buddies. - They follow a certain religion you disapprove of. You don't like it when Jehovah's Witnesses come a-knocking, so don't be like them. - They are lazy/follow an unhealthy lifestyle. Mentioning stuff like that can be alright if you're just stating some facts, but directly criticizing someone you don't know is an invasion and is taken as an affront. - You disagree with their diet/general lifestyle. If it makes them happy and they aren't hurting you or others, don't pry. It's their stomach, not yours. (I've been rather bad at that and still cringe at the stupid shit I said to people) - Their (non-pedo) art or fiction offends you. Look at something else or just point and laugh, but expect someone to do the same to you. - They're wearing or not wearing a mask. Leave the matter to the store or restaurant's management because regardless of what you believe, you will come off as a busybody or even a tattletale. Pick your battles and obey the rules. - They're pirating games/anime/etc. If you disagree with that, then you might just want to avoid them - Lots of other harmless stuff. In general, if they aren't harming others, then stay in your own backyard. They're involved in terrorist organizations. Stay as far away as you can. When to get involved: - They or their children were bitten by an animal that could be rabid. Rabies is no joke and even though some people have survived it after symptoms set in, it's still one of the deadliest known diseases. - They're putting themselves and others in danger, like trying to drive drunk - They're being abused or abusing family members - especially children or elderly. To me, abuse includes trying to force lefties to be right handed, but in many countries law enforcement won't give a shit. - They're dealing or using extremely dangerous illegal drugs (not benign stuff like marijuana, but the deadly stuff that's easy to overdose on) - Their children are getting into pills or other medicine they don't need and can poison them. - They've been injured. Some injuries need immediate intervention. - They're passing off stolen works as their own. People who do that deserve to be yelled at - They're creating viruses/malware or trying to hack others (note that pedos, scammers, and terrorists are fair game and should be hacked) - They're stealing - especially if they're your roommates. - They're downloading illegal pictures or videos. Warn others and report their asses - They're peeking at people - especially kids - using the toilet. Someone I used to be in contact with confessed to me that they used to peep at toddlers on the potty. Very illegal, very wrong. - They're abusing animals. Get those pets to a safe place or call Animal Control ASAP! Same goes for the sickos who get 'physical ' Ew. Ew. Ew. - They're acting stalkery and creepy online. Sometimes you might need to shepherd someone who just doesn't understand that they're being creepy - They're basically committing crimes that could get you and other innocent people into trouble. Warn others and then GTFO if you can. Now there's probably plenty other things I haven't covered, but there's a time to get involved, and there's a time to stay out of it. It took me YEARS to realize what an insufferable ass I was being. Don't make the same mistake. Gray areas: - Critique, but don't be overly pushy - Guiding newbies who may not know they're acting creepy or breaking rules - Dissuading someone from self-harm/suicide - Calling out and dealing with trolls - Protesting when an a mod goes on a power trip Sometimes it's better to not get involved. Here's why: - It's not going to make them like you - It will make you look nosey - They might double down and it might not be worth it to die on that particular hill - It's annoying and kinda creepy - People don't like being told what to do; they value their own autonomy and get defensive if they feel threatened by a stranger (you) - It's not that important - It's not going to help; they won't see you as a hero or a martyr, but instead as an annoying intruder - It will end up making you look bad Now if you do get involved in some kind of flame war online when it probably would have been better if you haven't, either make sure you look before you join in, rather than rushing to battle halfcocked. If you feel you might be on the wrong side, it might be best to just quietly get out of the fight and stay out, rather than changing sides. Just remember that if it isn't serious or dangerous, if the person isn't abusing animals or vulnerable people, stealing, or doing other stuff that could potentially carry serious consequences for you and others, it could be best to just butt-out. And yes. I know I can stand to do that myself. But boy howdy did I get a big taste of my own medicine. Just try to avoid the mistakes I made and know when it's best to get involved or stay in your lane.